I feel as if I only exist in the eyes of other. I feel so unreal. Where am I? What can I do, or not do?

The first thing: it is not only you who only exists in the eyes of others; everybody is existing that way. That is the common way of existence. You use the other as a mirror. Others’ opinions become very important, of immense value because they define you. Somebody says you are so beautiful; in that moment you become beautiful. Somebody says you are a fool; in that moment you start suspecting; maybe you are a fool? You may get angry, you may deny, but deep down you have become suspicious about your intelligence….

If you want to know who you are, you will have even to close your eyes; you will have to go withinwards. You will have to forget the whole world, you will have to forget what they say about you. You will have to go deep inside you and encounter your own reality.

That’s what I am teaching here — not to depend on others, not to look in their eyes. There are no clues in their eyes. They are as unaware as you are — how can they define you?

You are looking into each other’s eyes to find who you are. Yes, some reflections are there, your face is reflected. But your face is not you; you are far behind the face. Your face has been changing so much that you can’t be your face.

…You are not the face. Somewhere deep down hidden is your consciousness; it is never reflected into anybody’s eyes. Yes, a few things are reflected: your actions. You do something; it is reflected into others’ eyes. But your doing is not you. You are far greater than your actions….

Your being is never reflected in the eyes of others. Your being you have to come to know only in one way…and that is by closing your eyes to all the mirrors. You have to enter into your own inward existence, to face it directly. Nobody can give you any idea of it, what it is. You can know it, but not from others. It can never be a borrowed knowledge, it can only be a direct experience, a direct experiencing, immediate.

Osho, The Discipline of Transcendence, Vol. 1,Talk #2

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